


drive alone

by allthefadinglights



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Formula 2 RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29375928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthefadinglights/pseuds/allthefadinglights
Summary: Marcus is annoyed with himself, almost angry, for caring so much what other people think. Actually, it’s just what one other person thinks. And it’s not like his opinion matters, because Callum left him.
Relationships: Marcus Armstrong/Callum Ilott
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	drive alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I saw someone on Tumblr asking for a fic based on the song drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo and while I've never actually listened to the song, the lyrics gave me quite a bit of inspiration to work with. If you were the person requesting it: hi. Hope you like it!
> 
> This definitely isn't one of my best works but I've been stuck on another one I'm writing so I was hoping this would kinda get me unstuck. Not sure yet if it's helped. Hope you enjoy it either way. I have gotten back to work so I'll have a lot less time but I'll still try and post something once a week at the very least.
> 
> Unfortunately, I've had to lock my fics, what with the reddit thing going around yesterday. I'll keep them locked for a bit until I feel like it's died down and then I'll put them all back on public.

Marcus is annoyed with himself, almost angry, for caring so much what other people think. Actually, it’s just what one other person thinks. And it’s not like his opinion matters, because Callum left him. So why is his first instinct to call Callum, tell him he’s finally gotten his driver’s license? A little voice in his head tells him he knows exactly why, and that he has no right to feel like this because it wasn’t like they were officially together. But Marcus is pretty sure friends don’t spend nights looking at the stars together on the hood of Callum’s car, no words needed between the two of them as Callum slowly inched his hand towards Marcus’, fingers tangling together. He just feels so stupid for letting himself believe in it, believe that Callum actually cared about him. 

He’d met Callum at college about a year ago, Marcus just starting and Callum going into his second year. Marcus had chosen some generic major, something that would get him a degree without having set in stone what he was going to do after college - International Business. It wasn’t his subject of interest, but it was quite easy to follow and keep up with so it would do until he finished college. Callum seemed to have had the same idea, though he struggled with the subject of economics so he’d had to retake some tests for it, following lectures with Marcus’ year to try and understand what to do. He’d caught Marcus’ eye on the first day, a look of ‘what am I doing here’ obvious on his face. Marcus took pity on him a week in, seeing that he clearly struggled to understand what was going on and sat next to him on the next lecture.

Callum had been surprised to see that someone had noticed him, though a little embarrassed as well, but Marcus just offered to help. He’d always been good at economics and Callum seemed nice, so he didn’t mind tutoring him if Callum needed it. He quickly learned that Callum was absolutely hopeless at economics, but between Marcus’ endless patience and Callum’s jokes and refusal to give up, they became friends. It didn’t matter that he only saw Callum during economics and sometimes in passing on campus, they got along well and Marcus considered him a friend. Things got… slightly out of hand when Callum asked him to hang out together. Marcus already knew he had a crush on Callum - how could he not? - but looking at the stars together, going to movies, having Callum drive him home? He thought it was mutual. 

But about month ago, Callum stopped asking him to hang out, barely replied to his texts anymore. It hurt. Was he really just a tutor to Callum? He’d passed his tests now, so he no longer had any need for Marcus? So that’s how he ended up here, just down the street from Callum’s apartment in his new car - actually, it was secondhand because he wasn’t rich - thinking about how he just _misses_ Callum. He always encouraged Marcus to finally get his license, let him practice in his car in an empty parking lot so he’d stop being afraid of driving. And now that he’s finally gotten his license and a car - something Callum would’ve been proud of -, Callum doesn’t care about him anymore. 

Marcus gets startled out of his thoughts when the door to Callum’s building opens, a blonde girl stepping outside and hugging Callum before she takes off. It hurts, it feels like he’s been replaced. Callum’s eyes pass over his car, pausing for a second, but he doesn’t seem to see Marcus. “I hate him,” Marcus mumbles, knowing damn well it couldn’t be further from the truth. His eyes burn as he drives home. 

“You look like shit,” Jüri tells him when he gets home. “Where have you even been?”

“Went for a drive,” Marcus mumbles, falling down on the sofa and burying his face in a pillow. 

“I swear to god, Marcus, if you drove by his house again.”

“So what if I did?” Marcus snaps. “I know it’s pathetic, you don’t need to tell me that.” 

Jüri is quiet for a minute. “It’d be pointless to tell you to move on, right?” Marcus throws the pillow in his direction. “Right, okay, we’re going out tonight. You’ve spent enough time moping around and driving by his house only to get more upset because he has girls over. Guys can just be friends with girls, you know. It doesn’t mean he’s dating any of them.” 

“Except it’s always the same girl,” Marcus counters. “And he doesn’t have a sister that age.”

“Maybe it’s a cousin, or a friend, or someone he’s helping study. Or maybe it is his girlfriend and you just have to learn to accept that. In any case, Marcus, you have to stop driving by his house. I’ve allowed it for a while but it’s just getting creepy now.”

Marcus groans. “I know, I know I shouldn’t be doing it but it’s like I just can’t stop myself. I just miss him.”

“So ask him to hang out?”

“He never even replied to the last time I asked him, so I stopped asking.” 

Jüri throws the pillow back at him. “Because I’m such a good friend, I’m taking you out to a club tonight and I’ll pay for the drinks. I know you can’t just flick a switch and put him out of your mind but no amount of moping is gonna get you his friendship back.”

“I wanted a lot more than friendship,” Marcus says miserably. “You’ll carry me home when I get too drunk, right?”

Jüri sighs. “Fine, I’ll carry you home. Just don’t do anything stupid.”

Marcus doesn’t even really want to go out, but Jüri paying for their drinks is a rare occurrence and he’d like to make the most of it, so after a few shots at home, they head into town. It’s Friday night, so it’s quite busy out - especially considering it’s close to campus and students of all kinds want to have a good time. Marcus loses track of how many drinks he’s had rather quickly, taking full advantage of the fact that his roommate is paying today, and Jüri tells him to slow down after he’s downed another shot. He loses sight of Jüri soon after, disappearing into the mass of people dancing as the music finally manages to stop him thinking about Callum. It feels good to let go of that sadness for a little while, too drunk to care about anything else.

That is, of course, until he thinks he sees Callum in the crowd. Great, now his brain is even hallucinating him being here. But it turns out he’s not hallucinating, because Callum’s eyes meet his and there’s a whole range of emotions that crosses Callum’s face, before breaking eye contact and disappearing from sight. It brings back the sadness in full force, threatening to overwhelm him as he stumbles his way outside. Of course, it’s just his luck that he gets to watch Callum walk away from him with the girl next to him. He can’t even see if they’re holding hands or not because his eyes have filled with tears and he’s so angry that Callum still has this effect on him. He’d love to go after him, yell at him until he feels a little better, but he doesn’t. He just sits down on the sidewalk waiting for Jüri to come find him. 

“What happened to you?” Jüri asks when he finds Marcus, half an hour later. He gets his answer when Marcus looks up at him, teary-eyed. “Right,” he sighs. “We’re going home. Come on.” He makes Marcus down two glasses of water before putting him to bed, Marcus falling into a restless sleep soon after.

“How do I not have a hangover?” Marcus groans when he drags himself into the kitchen on Saturday morning. “I always get hangovers and I drank a lot last night.” 

Jüri looks suspiciously normal, putting a bowl of cereal in front of him and shrugging. “I made you drink some water before bed, that usually helps. Wanna tell me what happened last night?”

“Can’t remember,” Marcus lies. He remembers exactly how he felt watching Callum walk away from him again. “I just get emotional when I’m drunk.” The look Jüri gives him tells him he knows it’s a lie, but he doesn’t press the issue any further. He crawls back into bed after having something to eat, planning to spend the entire day wallowing in his misery while watching sad movies. Those plans get interrupted, however. 

“Marcus!” Jüri yells. “Someone at the door for you!” 

Of all the people Marcus was expecting to see at the door, Callum wasn’t one of them. He realises how terrible he looks, hair a mess, he’s wearing some old shirt with holes at the bottom and his sweatpants have seen better days. “Can we talk?” Callum asks quietly. He doesn’t look like he’s in a much better state than Marcus. 

“ _Now_ you want to talk?” The look Callum gives him is somewhere halfway between annoyed and sad. “Fine. I’m gonna get changed and we’re going for a walk.” He closes the door behind him, taking a second to pause and breathe. “I’ll deal with you later,” he hisses at Jüri, who has the decency to look a little guilty. 

Callum is still waiting by the front door when Marcus steps back outside. They walk for a few minutes before either of them says anything. Marcus is determined to keep his mouth shut - Callum was the one who wanted to talk, so he can talk first. “I’m sorry,” Callum says eventually, stopping to look at him. “I’m so sorry, Marcus.” 

“For what? Just using me to pass your economics tests? Letting me think we were friends? Holding my hand and driving me around like I meant something to you?” Marcus knows he’s raising his voice but he’s just been angry and hurt the past few weeks and he’d like to know at the very least why this has happened.

Callum’s face does something complicated before he evens it out again. “No. Yes. I don’t know.”

“You just abandoned me without even blinking twice,” Marcus whispers. He wishes he could keep yelling but he doesn’t have the energy for it. 

“Because!” Callum says, throwing his hands up. 

“Because what?”

“Because I fell in love with you and it was never going to happen. I thought you knew, I thought that’s why you were so angry with me. So I kept my distance.”

Marcus isn’t even sure how to reply to that. They’ve been so stupid. “I thought you hated me because you figured out I liked you and you didn’t feel the same. I thought that’s why you stayed away,” he says eventually. 

Callum huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, because I hold hands and go stargazing with all my friends.”

“I’m so mad at you,” Marcus says, stepping closer to him. “But I also miss you.” Callum hesitantly opens his arms and Marcus takes the offer, wrapping his arms around Callum’s torso and holding him tight. He’s not sure how long they stand there, but eventually Callum looks at him. “What?”

“Can I make it up to you?” 

“Depends. What did you have in mind?” 

Callum leans in, so close Marcus feels his breath on his lips. He can’t help himself closing the distance between them, finally kissing Callum. No matter how mad he is at Callum, he’d never turn this down and now that he knows Callum’s in love with him as well, he’s definitely never letting him go again. “Is this a good start?” Callum whispers and Marcus can’t help but laugh.

“It’s a good start, yeah. Who’s the girl you’ve been hanging out with?” If that makes him sound jealous, Marcus doesn’t really care.

Callum chuckles. “A friend. You have nothing to worry about, trust me. I’m gay and she’s gay. We’ve just been supporting each other through some tough times.”

“Oh,” Marcus says quietly. 

“Though it is cute that you were jealous,” Callum whispers, kissing him again. 

“Wasn’t jealous,” Marcus protests. “Okay, maybe a little.” The rest of his protests disappear from his thoughts when Callum pulls him closer and keeps kissing him. “I got my license,” he finally manages to tell Callum when they break apart for air. “You were the first person I wanted to tell about it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated <3


End file.
